Living Smaller - On Purpose

Why intentional downsizing expands what’s possible, rather than narrowing it

This letter is part of Design Dispatches, design-forward essays exploring how spaces (both indoors and out) are shaped, why design choices matter, and how the built environment influences the way we live. You can easily adjust your email preferences anytime to skip this section and still receive all the other stories, reflections, and design inspiration from The Whiskey Porch.

---

Hello my lovely readers.

Welcome to the porch.

This letter is the third in a short series exploring smaller living - from the original invitation, to the idea of right-sizing, to the intentional choice itself. In the final piece next month, I’ll share the surprising gifts that begin to appear on the other side of that decision.

Most people don’t choose smaller living until they have to.

The decision arrives through necessity (sometimes with a bit of kicking and screaming) - aging, loss, finances, changing bodies, changing energy. And by then, the choice can feel reactive rather than intentional.

And difficult. And exhausting.

But what happens when that decision is made earlier? Not as an escape, and not as an ideology - just as a thoughtful, long-range choice about how you want to live?

I’ve come to believe that choosing earlier changes everything.

It allows scale, comfort, beauty, and adaptability to be considered together. It turns downsizing from something endured into something shaped.

In a smaller, more intentional home, details matter more. Light. Storage. Circulation. How rooms connect to one another and to the garden beyond. Hospitality becomes flexible rather than formal. Beauty stops being decorative and starts becoming essential and fully integrated into your space.

There’s no single right answer to how much space is enough.

But there is something powerful about asking the question before urgency forces it.

The full-ish moon casting a cloudy glow @ Juniper Hill Cottage, our small-not-tiny home.

When smaller living is forced, or never happens, it can be a harsh ending.

I see it happening over and over - in this anguished, resistant struggle. Older folks who have lived a large life, in a large home, raised kids and pets and gardens. Where their homes just continue to accumulate the stuff of life in dusty corners and forgotten boxes crammed into corners.

And then suddenly, after years of resisting the downshift, these folks are forced to make an urgent decision (or even more often rely on their adult children to make the choice) of where to go at a moment’s notice because their finances or health just no longer support the maintenance and upkeep of their home.

My father was one of these who chose to hang on to his large and beautiful home - partly because he was in denial that he could handle it all and arrange things for his passing as he suffered with a terminal illness. And partly because he at that point was just too overwhelmed to think through a decision like that - understandably. We ended up rescuing him on death’s door (literally kicking and screaming) and getting him setup in hospice care for one last week of life with some dignity. He thanked me.

The ensuing 18-month process of getting his belongings and property sorted, dispersed, and managed was painful, overwhelming and complicated.

It didn’t have to be like that. It broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

Choosing earlier changes the design equation

Stories like that have altered the way I think about our homes and the choices we make about them.

There’s so much more grace in making that decision to let go of the stuff and the space MUCH earlier in life.

Granted there’s that period in life where literally everything expands - with children, comes the need for more space and the things of life to support them as they grow and learn.

But there’s a definite moment where the last kiddo has flown the nest (or been gently pushed out). As it should be. They are out in the world building their own path and popping in only occasionally to be “at home” with you and their larger family.

I can promise that they do not need their childhood room and en-suite bathroom to feel welcome and “at home”.

There’s that moment when you have a full life still ahead of you, and no longer need those trappings of the square footage and massive storage spaces and extra bedrooms.

The opportunity to make a thoughtful plan, to align your home space with how you truly live now, becomes a planning advantage.

Scale becomes a design decision rather than a heart-wrenching compromise.

A former deck, became a covered porch, became our garden room with a lovely office-chair-desk in the corner where I’m writing this letter to you now.

You can imagine an elegant solution that allows you to live life to the fullest and ALSO to age gracefully in a flexible and adaptable situation. And make that shift in a thoughtful and easeful way.

Your priority can be your lifestyle rather than maintaining what you currently have.

Smaller spaces demand better design

Smaller homes are often perceived as less desirable - because so often the design is non-existent. But thoughtful edits and adjustments can completely shift that reality.

It does require imagination, thoughtful design, and effort. It can take time. Whether you are remodeling an older smaller home, or building one. Even new builds are often a bit soul-less. At first.

In my professional design work, I can spend weeks working closely with homeowners to address the finer points of layered and intentional lighting, integrated and effective storage, the circulation and flow of the spaces and the interior connection to the outdoor spaces.

The color plan and the quality of the finishes can be uplifted to bring warmth, and space, and elegance.

Gardens, porches, and patios expand your living spaces and should be fully incorporated into the larger plan.

The most insightful design moments happen when someone visits our cottage and is thrilled with the spacious feeling and thoughtful design - only to be shocked and amazed to find out how small it really is. Those reactions are proof that a well designed space can function not only for our personal needs and activities but even for entertaining and large gatherings.

The freedom in smaller living

Smaller living isn’t about deprivation. It’s about alignment.

I’ve written much more extensively about these advantages, but I wanted to include a short discussion on the many advantages.

First and foremost is the expanded time and energy for doing what truly matters most to you. That freedom of how to spend your time, and your resources, is the prize that is well worth the effort to downsize as soon as possible.

Lest I neglect to mention the obvious - a smaller home requires less maintenance, less resources to heat and cool, less effort and time to clean.

A smaller home virtually always offers significant financial breathing room.

Hospitality becomes less about impressing and more about connecting and sharing.

And, of course, there’s less space to store the stuff that burdens your closets and attics while living in mysterious, dusty boxes. It’s stuff - you can’t take it with you….

My husband peeking out from our porch (the real Whiskey Porch) to watch me capture this peony on a late spring evening last year.

Agency rather than inertia

I think part of the inertia that many of us feel when we have an established home, that we’re used to, and reasonably comfortable in, is that we can’t imagine what it would feel like to start again.

Maybe you’re in your forties or fifties when it’s just you and your partner - the kids are off in the world. Or you’re in your thirties and not planning to have kids.

That moment is an invitation to pause and ask a few honest questions.

How much space do I really, truly, actually use on a daily basis?

Which spaces and rooms are the ones that shape my daily life?

What would I honestly need to keep if I could flip the switch and start again?

Don’t focus on what’s challenging about that shift. Instead, focus on what would be exciting and amazing and freeing.

What might shift - in your home, your time, or your sense of freedom - if you chose more deliberately, sooner rather than later?

ICYMI - the first two segments:

Smaller, Simpler, More Beautiful

Small, Not Tiny

And, finally, next month I’ll be sharing The Gift of Downsizing - I hope you’ll join me for that final segment.

With contentment & possibility,

---

P.S. As ever, I truly love to hear your thoughts and comments and get a conversation going. Please drop a note in the comments and let’s connect.