Miriam, does your advice depend—at least in part—on a person’s age or life stage? For someone like me, with kids of my own, plus siblings and in-laws who have families, I tend to need more space to accommodate everyone. My kids also host friends for sleepovers, and we have a lot of gatherings, so the house gets used in that way pretty regularly.
At the same time, I’ve been thinking more about space and what it signals about status—especially after recently visiting an acquaintance’s home that’s nearly a 35,000 sq ft (yes, I said 35,000) mansion. That contrast has me reflecting a bit.
Absolutely - I think life stage matters quite a bit. A home that supports a family with children, sleepovers, gatherings, and a constantly evolving household will naturally look different than one supporting just one or two people later in life.
I don’t think the answer is that everyone should live as small as possible at every stage. That’s part of what I’ve been trying to explore throughout this series. The real question is less about minimizing, and more about alignment - whether the scale and function of a home genuinely support the life unfolding inside it.
There’s also a big difference between actively used space and space that mainly exists as symbolism or status signaling. Or that is very rarely actually used fully. A home full of life, friends, family, noise, and connection feels very different to me than a massive house where large portions sit frequently unused - or under-utilized.
And yes - lol - seeing something as extreme as a 35,000 sq ft home would probably make almost anyone pause and reflect a little. Or a lot! That’s such a different scale of living that it almost becomes its own category entirely. It brings to mind how we define success, comfort, and enough.
What interests me most is the middle ground: thoughtful homes that flex and adapt well over time, rather than simply becoming larger and larger by default.
I like that. I live in Potomac, MD so I’m surrounded by a lot of very (VERY) large homes. In mine, the formal living room (intentionally small) is the only space that doesn’t get used, but it does serve an aesthetic function … a bit of a wow factor when you first enter the home.
Miriam, I've never had a big place to take care of as it's been mostly condo and apartments with the occasional townhome or small house.
As I've shared I'm looking to move by year-end and while I'll be looking to hopefully be detached again, I agree with the idea of just enough space and like you said, I absolutely don't want a project!
Miriam, does your advice depend—at least in part—on a person’s age or life stage? For someone like me, with kids of my own, plus siblings and in-laws who have families, I tend to need more space to accommodate everyone. My kids also host friends for sleepovers, and we have a lot of gatherings, so the house gets used in that way pretty regularly.
At the same time, I’ve been thinking more about space and what it signals about status—especially after recently visiting an acquaintance’s home that’s nearly a 35,000 sq ft (yes, I said 35,000) mansion. That contrast has me reflecting a bit.
Hi there! Thanks for your wonderful question.
Absolutely - I think life stage matters quite a bit. A home that supports a family with children, sleepovers, gatherings, and a constantly evolving household will naturally look different than one supporting just one or two people later in life.
I don’t think the answer is that everyone should live as small as possible at every stage. That’s part of what I’ve been trying to explore throughout this series. The real question is less about minimizing, and more about alignment - whether the scale and function of a home genuinely support the life unfolding inside it.
There’s also a big difference between actively used space and space that mainly exists as symbolism or status signaling. Or that is very rarely actually used fully. A home full of life, friends, family, noise, and connection feels very different to me than a massive house where large portions sit frequently unused - or under-utilized.
And yes - lol - seeing something as extreme as a 35,000 sq ft home would probably make almost anyone pause and reflect a little. Or a lot! That’s such a different scale of living that it almost becomes its own category entirely. It brings to mind how we define success, comfort, and enough.
What interests me most is the middle ground: thoughtful homes that flex and adapt well over time, rather than simply becoming larger and larger by default.
I like that. I live in Potomac, MD so I’m surrounded by a lot of very (VERY) large homes. In mine, the formal living room (intentionally small) is the only space that doesn’t get used, but it does serve an aesthetic function … a bit of a wow factor when you first enter the home.
Thanks for your post!
Miriam, I've never had a big place to take care of as it's been mostly condo and apartments with the occasional townhome or small house.
As I've shared I'm looking to move by year-end and while I'll be looking to hopefully be detached again, I agree with the idea of just enough space and like you said, I absolutely don't want a project!
Love the message of making the choice before life chooses for you! A really good reminder ❤️